A man was admitted to the hospital with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum. His condition was listed as stable.
Always support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
I had sex with my second cousin, and now it's really awkward. I should have learned my lesson with the first one.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I’m thinking of killing off a few characters in the book I am writing.
It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.
What's the difference between a flat earther and a knife?
A knife has a point.
(Only one of them is likely to be sharp.)
A young artist exhibits his work for the first time and a well known art critic is in attendance. The critic says to the young artist, "Would you like my opinion on your work?"
"Yes," says the artist.
"It's worthless," says the critic.
The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
If you put Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and Rick Perry together in a room, who's the first to realize they're full of shit?
The room.
Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and Rick Perry are stuck on a deserted island, who survives?
Texas.
5 comments:
Love the last two. Lots of names you could substitute, too. Thanks for the grins.
That last one!! We can only hope!!
BatRedneck, enjoying your blog from Sickoricko's blog list. I noticed yesterday that your blog was dated the day before and today's (Wednesday) is dated yesterday (July 13). Is this intentional? No need to publish this comment, just curious. Keep us the good work, enjoyed the chuckles you've started posting.
Hi Milleson, thank you very much for the feedback.
As per Google's way of managing the time zones, well... that is one of the many things that their staff omitted to elaborate upon in their so-called "Guide to creating a fine blog [for the dumbs]". A guide that is yet to be (unlikely) published, hum...
I am posting from France, which may explain the clocks attempting to mess up with our human logic.
As it's National Day here - somewhat an excuse to raise a glass - I will raise mine to the pleasure I get at reading your comments to Rick's posts. Cheers!
Mea Culpa, Sir, did not realize you live in France until I viewed your profile and the realized you're 9 hours ahead of us and I had been reading and viewing your blog here in the evenings when your dates were the same. I get it now. Working on a garden shed paint project and as soon as I finish, I will raise a glass of bubbly (can't call it champagne unless it comes from their region) and celebrate your National Day with an ocean between us. Cheers!!!
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