494. Forget About Your Issues for a Minute

My husband gets angry that I keep introducing him as my ex-boyfriend.

People that misuse to and too upset me. It happens far two often.

Whenever my artist boyfriend is sad I let him draw things on my body.

I give him a shoulder to crayon.

My boyfriend has an Onlyfans account and it's doing really well.

I just have to figure out how to break the news to him…

My dad told me never to go to a cheap, dirty, raunchy strip club because you'll see something you really shouldn't.

So I went.

And I saw my dad.

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 70 told me my generation sucks, I could afford a house in the economy they've ruined!

"Doctor my bottom hurts." 

Doc, "Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?" 

Patient, "Right around the entrance."

Doc, "As long as you keep calling it an entrance, it's gonna' hurt."

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

(out loud now)