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Sunday, December 19, 2021

1049. Bits of Humour and Else



Marjorie Taylor Greene is what happens when the ventriloquist dies but the dummy keeps talking.

Therapist to husband: Do you feel dominated by your wife?
Wife: No, he doesn't.

A pastor was giving a children's sermon and asked: "Why do you think I wear this collar?
One kid answered: "Because it kills ticks and fleas up to 30 days?"

Mom: Son, what is IDK, ILY, ttyl?
Son: I don't know, I love you, talk to you later.
Mom: Okay, I'll ask your sister.

What is something that feels British but isn't?
The contents of the British Museum.

My fondest childhood memory was making sand castles with Grandma.
Until my mother hid the Urn.

I started a new job and was handed a book.
"What's this?" I asked.
"This is our work bible" replied the manager.
"Why call it a Bible?"
"Because it's written by man and it's full of errors".

(Source - Via)

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5 comments:

Mistress Maddie said...

Stick Library!!!!!!!!!! Now that is funny.

And don't get me started on Marjorie Twat Green

BatRedneck said...

Yep! Love the sticks library too. I think that I'll make one comes next spring to put in the large garden where my neighbors and I are used to walk our dogs free of their leashes :-)

As for the vulgar blond twat, I hope Karma will be a real bitch to her.

SickoRicko said...

I like them all, but especially the kittens sticking their heads through the holes in the wall, and the last one. That dog looks stunned.

BatRedneck said...

Yes, as stunned as one that wasn't allowed a lifeboat :-)

uptonking said...

Too adorbs... love all the animal stuff. Thanks for the giggles and grins.